It's so difficult to go on when everything seems to fail, isn't it? Are there times in your life when you really want to call it "quits" because you just can't see any good results from all the hard work you've done?
Hold your horses!
Never ever think of giving up. Winners never quit and quitters never win. Take all negative words out of your mental dictionary and focus on the solutions with utmost conviction and patience. The battle is never lost until you've abandon your vision.
But what if you're really exhausted physically, mentally, and most of all emotionally? Here are some sources of motivation to prompt you in reaching the peak of accomplishment.
1) The Overwhelming Feeling of Attaining your Desired End
How would you feel after accomplishing your mission? Of course you will feel ecstatic. You might be shedding tears of joy. Let this tremendous feeling sink in and encourage you to persist despite all odds.
When I was studying for the Board Exams, I used this technique to motivate me. I would envision the sweetness of folks calling me a CPA. It would command respect. People will look up to me as a higher level of authority. And I would have better chances of finding a good job. I absorbed all these great perceptions into my inner being in order to achieve my ultimate goal.
2) The Reward System
How would you feel if you've entered a contest, but there are no prizes for the winners? It's not very encouraging, isn't it?
The same principles apply to your vision. Reward yourself after accomplishing a goal. Set a particular incentive for every objective.
Let's say if you've achieved a particular task, you'll treat yourself to your favorite restaurant. When you've finished a bigger task, you'll go on a vacation.
Got the idea?
Just set something gratifying to indulge in after completing a certain undertaking.
3) The Powerful Force of Humanity
If you want to succeed, surround yourself with the right kind of people who will support and encourage you all the way.
Be with people who have the same beliefs and aspirations as yours. Positive aura is generated by this fusion of collective energy from people of "like minds."
On the contrary, being with people who oppose your ways of thinking may trigger a negative, yet very powerful, kind of motivation.
Has anyone ever said to you that "You'll never get anywhere" or "You're wasting your time with what you're doing?"
Didn't it made you furious and determined enough to prove to them how wrong they were? This is what I'm talking about.
When aggravated, you will do anything to make those who are against you swallow their words. But of course, your main focus should be on the acccomplishment of your goal and not for the purpose of revenge. Never let your emotions toward others alter your main objective.
4) Take Care Of Your Health
Exercise regularly. Fill your brains with enough oxygen to allow you to do your daily tasks with more vigor and energy.
Take regular breaks if time allows. Having the will power to continue despite all hardships is extremely important, but you should still know your limits.
If you don't take enough rest, you will not be able to think clearly and you will not be able to do your tasks properly. In the process, you will just get more frustrated.
Take sufficient sleep and recharge yourself after a hard day's work. Never, ever ignore your health. I've learned my lesson when I sacrificed my health for the sake of success. I've worked very long hours everyday and just got minimal sleep. As a result, I became ill.
It's not worth it. Success won't matter if you don't have good health to enjoy it.
Fire up your motivation and live life to the fullest!
by Michael Lee
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
motivation : 3 Great Ways To Stay Motivated At Work
Staying motivated at work is easier than you think when you know what to do.
1. Decide What You Must Achieve Today.
It is easy to get caught up with non-urgent matters that you can either ignore completely or do at a later date.
All that clutter leaves you confused about what to do so you end up procrastinating.
You need to ask yourself:
What is of the utmost importance that I must complete today?
Define that specific goal and focus solely on that until you have achieved it.
Clarity is power. It allows you to operate in a peak state of concentration and will help to ensure you are at your
best. You will be amazed at how much you will get done and how successful you will feel when you FOCUS.
2. Break Down Complex Goals Into Manageable Steps.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is the failure to take big projects and restructure them as a series of
challenging but stimulating tasks.
Take any project and list the sequence of steps you need to follow. Make sure the steps are big enough to keep your
interest and not so small that you feel bored by the prospect of moving ahead with the project.
It is very motivating to have a highly specific game plan that challenges you without leaving you overwhelmed.
Once you have this blueprint written down you can get started. And make sure to mark your progress with the time
of completion as you work your way through the list.
Tracking the time encourages you to make a game of getting things done properly and quickly.
3. Use Negative Pressure To Keep You On Target.
This is an unusual but highly effective tip.
Pick someone at work to check in on your progress during the day. Make sure this person has a positive outlook and
that he or she is fully supportive of your goal to achieve more. Choose someone you want to impress with your
abilities and productivity.
The secret is to use negative pressure to keep you on track. i.e. you want to dread the prospect of failure
because you do not want to lose the approval of this person.
You will have moments during the day when you feel good about the progress you are making. At this point the
natural reaction is to ease up.
You can deal with this by setting up the very real prospect of disappointing someone who believes in you. This desire
to avoid embarrassment will drive you to give of your best.
Use these three tips each day and watch your productivity soar.
Motivation really is a question of strategy. When you know your personal motivation blueprint there is nothing you cannot do.
by Peter Murphy
1. Decide What You Must Achieve Today.
It is easy to get caught up with non-urgent matters that you can either ignore completely or do at a later date.
All that clutter leaves you confused about what to do so you end up procrastinating.
You need to ask yourself:
What is of the utmost importance that I must complete today?
Define that specific goal and focus solely on that until you have achieved it.
Clarity is power. It allows you to operate in a peak state of concentration and will help to ensure you are at your
best. You will be amazed at how much you will get done and how successful you will feel when you FOCUS.
2. Break Down Complex Goals Into Manageable Steps.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is the failure to take big projects and restructure them as a series of
challenging but stimulating tasks.
Take any project and list the sequence of steps you need to follow. Make sure the steps are big enough to keep your
interest and not so small that you feel bored by the prospect of moving ahead with the project.
It is very motivating to have a highly specific game plan that challenges you without leaving you overwhelmed.
Once you have this blueprint written down you can get started. And make sure to mark your progress with the time
of completion as you work your way through the list.
Tracking the time encourages you to make a game of getting things done properly and quickly.
3. Use Negative Pressure To Keep You On Target.
This is an unusual but highly effective tip.
Pick someone at work to check in on your progress during the day. Make sure this person has a positive outlook and
that he or she is fully supportive of your goal to achieve more. Choose someone you want to impress with your
abilities and productivity.
The secret is to use negative pressure to keep you on track. i.e. you want to dread the prospect of failure
because you do not want to lose the approval of this person.
You will have moments during the day when you feel good about the progress you are making. At this point the
natural reaction is to ease up.
You can deal with this by setting up the very real prospect of disappointing someone who believes in you. This desire
to avoid embarrassment will drive you to give of your best.
Use these three tips each day and watch your productivity soar.
Motivation really is a question of strategy. When you know your personal motivation blueprint there is nothing you cannot do.
by Peter Murphy
Sunday, June 25, 2006
motivation : Three Elements of Motivation
Motivation starts with the desire to be free, to be free from dependency on others, freedom to live the lifestyle we dream of, freedom to explore our ideas. Total freedom is not possible or desirable, but the struggle to achieve that ideal is the basis for motivation.
Motivation is built on three basic elements:
Motivation starts with a need, vision, dream or desire to achieve the seemingly impossible. Creativity is associated with ideas, projects, and goals, which can be considered a path to freedom.
Developing and maintaining a love-to-learn lifestyle become involved with risky ventures, and/or continually seek new opportunities learn what works and does not work.
Developing and maintaining a desire to overcome barriers and to bounce back from discouragement or failure. individuals learn to tolerate the agony failure brings. In any endeavor, that is worthwhile, barriers and failure will be there. Bouncing back requires creative thinking as it is a learning process. In addition, bouncing back requires starting again at number one.
A loss of any one part and motivation is on the rocks. For example;
If you like to be creative and love to learn but cannot face up to failure, you will not go back and try again. Persistent motivation is associated with bouncing back from failure.
If you have a unique idea but don’t like taking risks, ideas’ is all you will ever have.
There must be something in your life that turns you on. Some people work harder at finding it than others. You can start by analyzing the lifestyle you wish you could live. Remember, money is not a goal; it is a reward for achieving a goal. People without a motivating dream are not reading this website.
Copyright 2000 by Robert L. Webb
Motivation is built on three basic elements:
Motivation starts with a need, vision, dream or desire to achieve the seemingly impossible. Creativity is associated with ideas, projects, and goals, which can be considered a path to freedom.
Developing and maintaining a love-to-learn lifestyle become involved with risky ventures, and/or continually seek new opportunities learn what works and does not work.
Developing and maintaining a desire to overcome barriers and to bounce back from discouragement or failure. individuals learn to tolerate the agony failure brings. In any endeavor, that is worthwhile, barriers and failure will be there. Bouncing back requires creative thinking as it is a learning process. In addition, bouncing back requires starting again at number one.
A loss of any one part and motivation is on the rocks. For example;
If you like to be creative and love to learn but cannot face up to failure, you will not go back and try again. Persistent motivation is associated with bouncing back from failure.
If you have a unique idea but don’t like taking risks, ideas’ is all you will ever have.
There must be something in your life that turns you on. Some people work harder at finding it than others. You can start by analyzing the lifestyle you wish you could live. Remember, money is not a goal; it is a reward for achieving a goal. People without a motivating dream are not reading this website.
Copyright 2000 by Robert L. Webb
motivation : Seven Rules of Motivation
Set a major goal, but follow a path. The path has mini goals that go in many directions. When you learn to succeed at mini goals, you will be motivated to challenge grand goals.
2 Finish what you start. A half finished project is of no use to anyone. Quitting is a habit. Develop the habit of finishing self-motivated projects
3 Socialize with others of similar interest. Mutual support is motivating. We will develop the attitudes of our five best friends. If they are losers, we will be a loser. If they are winners, we will be a winner. To be a cowboy we must associate with cowboys.
4 Learn how to learn. Dependency on others for knowledge supports the habit of procrastination. Man has the ability to learn without instructors. In fact, when we learn the art of self-education we will find, if not create, opportunity to find success beyond our wildest dreams.
5 Harmonize natural talent with interest that motivates. Natural talent creates motivation, motivation creates persistence and persistence gets the job done.
6 Increase knowledge of subjects that inspires. The more we know about a subject, the more we want to learn about it. A self-propelled upward spiral develops.
7 Take risk. Failure and bouncing back are elements of motivation. Failure is a learning tool. No one has ever succeeded at anything worthwhile without a string of failures.
Copyright 2000 by Robert L. Webb
2 Finish what you start. A half finished project is of no use to anyone. Quitting is a habit. Develop the habit of finishing self-motivated projects
3 Socialize with others of similar interest. Mutual support is motivating. We will develop the attitudes of our five best friends. If they are losers, we will be a loser. If they are winners, we will be a winner. To be a cowboy we must associate with cowboys.
4 Learn how to learn. Dependency on others for knowledge supports the habit of procrastination. Man has the ability to learn without instructors. In fact, when we learn the art of self-education we will find, if not create, opportunity to find success beyond our wildest dreams.
5 Harmonize natural talent with interest that motivates. Natural talent creates motivation, motivation creates persistence and persistence gets the job done.
6 Increase knowledge of subjects that inspires. The more we know about a subject, the more we want to learn about it. A self-propelled upward spiral develops.
7 Take risk. Failure and bouncing back are elements of motivation. Failure is a learning tool. No one has ever succeeded at anything worthwhile without a string of failures.
Copyright 2000 by Robert L. Webb
Thursday, June 22, 2006
motivation: Motivation Tour 2006 Final
By RICHARD SMART
For those with a taste for an eclectic mix of pop, techno and house, June 25 at Liquid Room -- the final date of DJ Towa Tei's Motivation Tour -- should hit the spot. Tei is promoting the April release of "Motivation 3," the third CD in a series featuring his classic pop-house sound.
Tei founded his reputation on 1990's "Groove is in the Heart," which he wrote and performed with the band Dee-Lite. These days, when he isn't DJing, Tei is more often than not in the studio, either working for his Akashic record label or producing up-and-coming artists such as Ayuse Kozue, whose debut single, "Boyfriend" was a best seller in Japan.
Kozue, who had further success with the follow-ups "Pretty Good" and "Kimi no Yasashisa," will be playing her trademark combination of pop, jazz and house. Recent appearances on Space Shower TV and MTV make it likely that she'll become a fixture on the J-pop scene.
Also in the lineup will be Okinawa's Ryukyu Disko, an act well established at clubs throughout Japan, who play traditional Okinawan music mixed with harder techno. If you haven't seen them live yet, expect a fresh-sounding band that a pop crowd can enjoy as easily as hardened clubbers -- and visuals that reflect the band's Okinawan roots.
"Motivation Tour 2006 Final" is at Liquid Room, 3-16-6 Higashi Shibuya-ku, Tokyo on June 25; tickets 3,000-4,000 yen yen. For more information, call (03) 5464-0800.
The Japan Times
(C) All rights reserved
For those with a taste for an eclectic mix of pop, techno and house, June 25 at Liquid Room -- the final date of DJ Towa Tei's Motivation Tour -- should hit the spot. Tei is promoting the April release of "Motivation 3," the third CD in a series featuring his classic pop-house sound.
Tei founded his reputation on 1990's "Groove is in the Heart," which he wrote and performed with the band Dee-Lite. These days, when he isn't DJing, Tei is more often than not in the studio, either working for his Akashic record label or producing up-and-coming artists such as Ayuse Kozue, whose debut single, "Boyfriend" was a best seller in Japan.
Kozue, who had further success with the follow-ups "Pretty Good" and "Kimi no Yasashisa," will be playing her trademark combination of pop, jazz and house. Recent appearances on Space Shower TV and MTV make it likely that she'll become a fixture on the J-pop scene.
Also in the lineup will be Okinawa's Ryukyu Disko, an act well established at clubs throughout Japan, who play traditional Okinawan music mixed with harder techno. If you haven't seen them live yet, expect a fresh-sounding band that a pop crowd can enjoy as easily as hardened clubbers -- and visuals that reflect the band's Okinawan roots.
"Motivation Tour 2006 Final" is at Liquid Room, 3-16-6 Higashi Shibuya-ku, Tokyo on June 25; tickets 3,000-4,000 yen yen. For more information, call (03) 5464-0800.
The Japan Times
(C) All rights reserved
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Motivation : The Defining Moment Of Self-Improvement
For any aspect of self-improvement, there has to be a reason for you to start and keep going. That is your motivation - the reason for doing what you do. In order to attempt any sort of improvement in your life, you need to be motivated in some way to get started. Strategies for self-improvement start with defining what it is you want to achieve and then charting a course through which you can effect the improvements or changes. These do not have to be drastic changes - they could be something as simple as making time for yourself to write in a journal each day or something to improve your health, such as quitting smoking.
Motivation comes from within. It is something that you want to do for you. This is what keeps you going, getting up each day and going off to work. Children are often the motivating force behind parents saving money, when they would ordinarily blow it on something frivolous. You know that you will need money for your children's higher education or to give them the extras that they want, such as toys and brand name clothing. This is the reason that you work each day, maintain a home and spend time enjoying each other.
If you don't have something to look forward to or see some sense of gratification in what you do, then there is no motivation to get doing it. Just meeting with colleagues helps you get a sense of who you are and your place in the world. Socialization, confidence and improvement are three main aspects of life. When you enjoy life, you can be motivated to achieve great things. Achievement does not have to be something that everyone recognizes. It can be something as simple as learning to make a quilt or to use a saw to create beautiful woodwork. The end result is the feeling of accomplishment that you have in yourself.
by Jordi Shoman
Motivation comes from within. It is something that you want to do for you. This is what keeps you going, getting up each day and going off to work. Children are often the motivating force behind parents saving money, when they would ordinarily blow it on something frivolous. You know that you will need money for your children's higher education or to give them the extras that they want, such as toys and brand name clothing. This is the reason that you work each day, maintain a home and spend time enjoying each other.
If you don't have something to look forward to or see some sense of gratification in what you do, then there is no motivation to get doing it. Just meeting with colleagues helps you get a sense of who you are and your place in the world. Socialization, confidence and improvement are three main aspects of life. When you enjoy life, you can be motivated to achieve great things. Achievement does not have to be something that everyone recognizes. It can be something as simple as learning to make a quilt or to use a saw to create beautiful woodwork. The end result is the feeling of accomplishment that you have in yourself.
by Jordi Shoman
motivation : Achieve new levels of motivation and wellness
This article explains how writing a journal raises substantially your level of both – motivation and wellness.
Writing a journal is one way, which easily can help to process or clarify feelings. A journal can be written, whenever there are ten minutes available. Don't mind the language, this journal is for you and only for you. It is a special quiet place where one can look inside yourself and write down, whatever comes into your mind. Nobody is judging here for what is written down. After a while writing a journal will have a strengthening effect on dealing with your every day tasks. Sometimes in a journal you may come up with a solution to a problem, you haven't thought of before.
There are people who made it a habit to write their journal at a fixed time during the day. Overtime they felt more centered in everyday life, it slowly lifted their emotional burden they were carrying around for a long time. A journal might even be used to start exploring your own feelings, thus speeding up your own personal growth. Negative feeling oftentimes can be better expressed without hesitation and ease up substantially, while writing them down. A journal helps through challenging times, when you need a strong inner center to cope with stressful situations. At times you may also simply write down, what you were doing or what the events were during that day.
Now we have seen, how writing a journal raises your level of motivation and wellness. It is also is an important source of self-growth. For people, who have trouble starting with visualizations, it is a proven fact, that when you write down your own visualizations, that they have a stronger effect, then when you only do this in your imagination. For example, in the evening, when it is time to relax for sleep, you can actually write down: I am sitting at the beach, listening to the incoming waves, the sun is slowly setting and from the distance I can see the doves flying over the water. While you write this down, you are slowly relaxing….
There is one other way, you can use your diary and it has a life-changing effect in the long run and this is writing down your affirmations on a daily basis and keeping them in a journal. It is a good way to start with them. In your journal you can try, which affirmations are working for you and which not. You will feel more connected to certain affirmations than to others. When a difficult day is coming up, you can motivate yourself by writing down several times: I will have a great day and it always is surprising how it works. You will be less offended, you stay more centered and during the day you can control your feelings better.
After a several months, when you start reading your own journal, you will be surprised, what you discover. The time distance gives you the rare possibility to understand the events, your feelings and your inner conflicts better. You will also discover, that what you thought was no value at that time, does have a clear value later on. Certainly you can enjoy a journal you have written ten years ago and believe it or not no best-selling novel can replace that feeling.
Writing a journal has many advantages, it gives you a feeling of inner freedom, strengthens your motivation and without doubt contributes to your emotional wellness. So go on, start today!
by Silvia Noll
Writing a journal is one way, which easily can help to process or clarify feelings. A journal can be written, whenever there are ten minutes available. Don't mind the language, this journal is for you and only for you. It is a special quiet place where one can look inside yourself and write down, whatever comes into your mind. Nobody is judging here for what is written down. After a while writing a journal will have a strengthening effect on dealing with your every day tasks. Sometimes in a journal you may come up with a solution to a problem, you haven't thought of before.
There are people who made it a habit to write their journal at a fixed time during the day. Overtime they felt more centered in everyday life, it slowly lifted their emotional burden they were carrying around for a long time. A journal might even be used to start exploring your own feelings, thus speeding up your own personal growth. Negative feeling oftentimes can be better expressed without hesitation and ease up substantially, while writing them down. A journal helps through challenging times, when you need a strong inner center to cope with stressful situations. At times you may also simply write down, what you were doing or what the events were during that day.
Now we have seen, how writing a journal raises your level of motivation and wellness. It is also is an important source of self-growth. For people, who have trouble starting with visualizations, it is a proven fact, that when you write down your own visualizations, that they have a stronger effect, then when you only do this in your imagination. For example, in the evening, when it is time to relax for sleep, you can actually write down: I am sitting at the beach, listening to the incoming waves, the sun is slowly setting and from the distance I can see the doves flying over the water. While you write this down, you are slowly relaxing….
There is one other way, you can use your diary and it has a life-changing effect in the long run and this is writing down your affirmations on a daily basis and keeping them in a journal. It is a good way to start with them. In your journal you can try, which affirmations are working for you and which not. You will feel more connected to certain affirmations than to others. When a difficult day is coming up, you can motivate yourself by writing down several times: I will have a great day and it always is surprising how it works. You will be less offended, you stay more centered and during the day you can control your feelings better.
After a several months, when you start reading your own journal, you will be surprised, what you discover. The time distance gives you the rare possibility to understand the events, your feelings and your inner conflicts better. You will also discover, that what you thought was no value at that time, does have a clear value later on. Certainly you can enjoy a journal you have written ten years ago and believe it or not no best-selling novel can replace that feeling.
Writing a journal has many advantages, it gives you a feeling of inner freedom, strengthens your motivation and without doubt contributes to your emotional wellness. So go on, start today!
by Silvia Noll
Monday, June 19, 2006
motivation: Women cadets in OTA reflect equal motivation
Vishnu Som
Tuesday, June 20, 2006 (Chennai):
As the debate over the role of women in the Army rages on, NDTV found out that when it comes to spirit, women officers do not lack behind male officers.
In the Officers Training Academy in Chennai, where lady cadets are trained, there are some differences in the training methods between men and women, but when it comes to spirit and motivation, there is no difference.
For many of the young women in the Academy looking to make a career in the Army, the entire debate on the role of women comes as a surprise.
Lady cadet Anupreet says that her parents always knew she would end up in the Army.
"They were ready. They knew this was my dream career and they wanted to encourage me and they were always with me," she said.
Difference in training
The cadets insist that there are no differences in the manner in which men and women are treated, though there are differences in how they are trained.
The differences in training, they point out, have nothing to do with sexism in the Indian Army. It is purely a reflection of the different roles men and women serve in the force.
As of now, women in the Indian Army do not serve in combat units, while men on the other hand, will go on to fight on the frontlines, operate tanks, serve on the frontlines or perhaps become commandos.
Women cadets are trained for 24 weeks while their male counterparts are trained for 49 weeks.
Like in the large majority of armed forces in the world, there is a recognition of the physiological differences between men and women which is why women are given more time to complete some of their drills.
However, in other instances the timings required for men and women to qualify are identical.
Officers training the women in the Academy point out that the entire issue of women not being deployed on the frontline is not completely accurate. As engineers or signals officers, woman are in fact deployed on the front.
War time services
In the event of war for instance, women engineers in the Indian Army would travel with Indian armoured formations and service tanks in enemy territory if required.
Similarly, young women officers may be part of a quick reaction team defending their unit and may have to open fire if the situation demands it.
"It is just that we are not allowed into the combat arms right now. We are only allowed into the service arms and we are doing a good job there," said Vibhuti Sharma, a lady cadet.
"And if we are allowed to join the combat arms then we will do a good job there as well," she added.
Like in all military institutions, discipline is key in the Academy. There are controlled opportunities for men and for women to interact with one another.
The barracks for men and women are separate and lights go out at 10 pm and the day ends there.
In this controlled and extremely regimented setup, the instances of harassment of the women in the Academy are almost unheard of.
"The male colleagues help us a lot. They respect us a lot and there is a very cordial relationship and the gentleman cadets are really good to the lady cadets," said Geeta Mishra, another cadet.
For the young women at the Officer Training Academy, the debate on whether women should be part of the armed forces may as well have been a debate from another planet.
All the young women in the Academy are volunteers and their motivation has to be seen to be believed.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006 (Chennai):
As the debate over the role of women in the Army rages on, NDTV found out that when it comes to spirit, women officers do not lack behind male officers.
In the Officers Training Academy in Chennai, where lady cadets are trained, there are some differences in the training methods between men and women, but when it comes to spirit and motivation, there is no difference.
For many of the young women in the Academy looking to make a career in the Army, the entire debate on the role of women comes as a surprise.
Lady cadet Anupreet says that her parents always knew she would end up in the Army.
"They were ready. They knew this was my dream career and they wanted to encourage me and they were always with me," she said.
Difference in training
The cadets insist that there are no differences in the manner in which men and women are treated, though there are differences in how they are trained.
The differences in training, they point out, have nothing to do with sexism in the Indian Army. It is purely a reflection of the different roles men and women serve in the force.
As of now, women in the Indian Army do not serve in combat units, while men on the other hand, will go on to fight on the frontlines, operate tanks, serve on the frontlines or perhaps become commandos.
Women cadets are trained for 24 weeks while their male counterparts are trained for 49 weeks.
Like in the large majority of armed forces in the world, there is a recognition of the physiological differences between men and women which is why women are given more time to complete some of their drills.
However, in other instances the timings required for men and women to qualify are identical.
Officers training the women in the Academy point out that the entire issue of women not being deployed on the frontline is not completely accurate. As engineers or signals officers, woman are in fact deployed on the front.
War time services
In the event of war for instance, women engineers in the Indian Army would travel with Indian armoured formations and service tanks in enemy territory if required.
Similarly, young women officers may be part of a quick reaction team defending their unit and may have to open fire if the situation demands it.
"It is just that we are not allowed into the combat arms right now. We are only allowed into the service arms and we are doing a good job there," said Vibhuti Sharma, a lady cadet.
"And if we are allowed to join the combat arms then we will do a good job there as well," she added.
Like in all military institutions, discipline is key in the Academy. There are controlled opportunities for men and for women to interact with one another.
The barracks for men and women are separate and lights go out at 10 pm and the day ends there.
In this controlled and extremely regimented setup, the instances of harassment of the women in the Academy are almost unheard of.
"The male colleagues help us a lot. They respect us a lot and there is a very cordial relationship and the gentleman cadets are really good to the lady cadets," said Geeta Mishra, another cadet.
For the young women at the Officer Training Academy, the debate on whether women should be part of the armed forces may as well have been a debate from another planet.
All the young women in the Academy are volunteers and their motivation has to be seen to be believed.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
motivation: Young Jeezy Graduates To Thug Motivation 102 — New Album Due In October
NEW YORK — Even though summertime is coming, Young Jeezy is still thinking about the cold winds blowing.
The Snowman wants to make it extra frosty toward the end of this year. He's in the studio working on his second album, the follow-up to his 2005 breakthrough debut, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101.
"October, that's all I can say," Jeezy said Wednesday night about the LP. "I'mma keep it real low-key. The name of the album is The Inspiration: Thug Motivation 102."
Jeezy, Nick Cannon and Keyshia Cole were in New York on Wednesday promoting the Boost Mobile RockCorps concert June 16 at Atlanta's Fox Theatre. Jeezy and Paul Wall are headlining. Boost Mobile enlisted 3,000 youth volunteers to perform community service, and as a reward, they get a ticket to the show. Last year's volunteers were rewarded with a concert at Radio City Music Hall, where Jeezy, Paul Wall, Fabolous, Fat Joe, the L.O.X. and more performed.
"I did it last year. My homegirl Lisa who works at the Boost office, she's very influential in the 'hood," Jeezy said. "So I get the call, and they said they doing it in Atlanta, I said, 'I gotta be a part of that.' So I'm getting everybody riled up about it, doing community service in Atlanta.
"I really think if you can get out and do something like that for a ticket, to get into a show, that's the beginning," Jeezy added. "I did community service for free. I got in trouble. But for the kids, to get a reward like that, they might start up something on their own and have other kids doing their own programs without the rewards because they'll see everybody work as a team, and we can make it happen. They need it."
Jeezy didn't give away any secrets as to what he'll be doing at the show, but he said it'll be motivational.
"You never know, man," the Snowman smiled. "It's the hometown, so you never know. Besides that, I'm excited to be a part of something that positive. Three-thousand kids, that's big. People should do more stuff for the kids."
For more on Young Jeezy, check out the feature "Putting His Mouth Where His Money Is".
— Shaheem Reid
The Snowman wants to make it extra frosty toward the end of this year. He's in the studio working on his second album, the follow-up to his 2005 breakthrough debut, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101.
"October, that's all I can say," Jeezy said Wednesday night about the LP. "I'mma keep it real low-key. The name of the album is The Inspiration: Thug Motivation 102."
Jeezy, Nick Cannon and Keyshia Cole were in New York on Wednesday promoting the Boost Mobile RockCorps concert June 16 at Atlanta's Fox Theatre. Jeezy and Paul Wall are headlining. Boost Mobile enlisted 3,000 youth volunteers to perform community service, and as a reward, they get a ticket to the show. Last year's volunteers were rewarded with a concert at Radio City Music Hall, where Jeezy, Paul Wall, Fabolous, Fat Joe, the L.O.X. and more performed.
"I did it last year. My homegirl Lisa who works at the Boost office, she's very influential in the 'hood," Jeezy said. "So I get the call, and they said they doing it in Atlanta, I said, 'I gotta be a part of that.' So I'm getting everybody riled up about it, doing community service in Atlanta.
"I really think if you can get out and do something like that for a ticket, to get into a show, that's the beginning," Jeezy added. "I did community service for free. I got in trouble. But for the kids, to get a reward like that, they might start up something on their own and have other kids doing their own programs without the rewards because they'll see everybody work as a team, and we can make it happen. They need it."
Jeezy didn't give away any secrets as to what he'll be doing at the show, but he said it'll be motivational.
"You never know, man," the Snowman smiled. "It's the hometown, so you never know. Besides that, I'm excited to be a part of something that positive. Three-thousand kids, that's big. People should do more stuff for the kids."
For more on Young Jeezy, check out the feature "Putting His Mouth Where His Money Is".
— Shaheem Reid
motivation: Grad finds motivation to succeed
By Zeke Barlow, zbarlow@VenturaCountyStar.com
June 13, 2006
When Brenda Franco got ready for her high school graduation Monday, she changed out of her nice clothes and put on her favorite blue jeans.
That might seem to be the reverse order for some, but for Franco, the Renaissance High School graduation was the least formal part of her day.
The more formal, serious part was the time she spent working at a law firm in dress pants and a button-up blouse, a job that she's hoping one day will take her out of the classroom and into a courtroom.
"Even though I was voted class clown, I want to be a lawyer," said Franco, 17, who graduated first in her class Monday.
The Santa Paula teen grew up watching court shows on TV, fascinated by the lawyers demanding answers and pacing in front of the judge. When she went to court with a friend who got in trouble, Franco was captivated by the lawyers and judges. But for many years, she had little drive.
"I was a very lazy student," she said. "I only concentrated on history and art classes."
She transferred to Renaissance last year and said she found the motivation she needed in the alternative-style education. Before long, her grades went from Cs and Ds to A's and Bs.
"My turnaround was Renaissance," she said. "I love this place."
She was working in retail, but when her sister told her about an opening at the Ventura law firm where she worked, Franco jumped at the chance. She now does filing, typing and hopes to do research over the summer.
"She's very enthusiastic about learning new things," said Tawnee Barajas, the firm's marketing director.
Before she started at the law firm, Franco was thinking about going into photography or cosmetology but didn't really have a clear direction, she said.
"I was all over the place," she said.
The work at the firm has helped her focus. She wants to go to Ventura College next year and has her sights set on Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego.
Franco sees the purity of law, of lawyers helping get justice done.
"I like how they are kind of a hero for some people," she said.
She's thinking about going into construction defection law, which the lawyers at her firm practice, although she's keeping her options open.
But all this doesn't mean that Franco doesn't have the trappings of adolescence. When not working or going to school, she loves to write poetry about — what else? — boys.
June 13, 2006
When Brenda Franco got ready for her high school graduation Monday, she changed out of her nice clothes and put on her favorite blue jeans.
That might seem to be the reverse order for some, but for Franco, the Renaissance High School graduation was the least formal part of her day.
The more formal, serious part was the time she spent working at a law firm in dress pants and a button-up blouse, a job that she's hoping one day will take her out of the classroom and into a courtroom.
"Even though I was voted class clown, I want to be a lawyer," said Franco, 17, who graduated first in her class Monday.
The Santa Paula teen grew up watching court shows on TV, fascinated by the lawyers demanding answers and pacing in front of the judge. When she went to court with a friend who got in trouble, Franco was captivated by the lawyers and judges. But for many years, she had little drive.
"I was a very lazy student," she said. "I only concentrated on history and art classes."
She transferred to Renaissance last year and said she found the motivation she needed in the alternative-style education. Before long, her grades went from Cs and Ds to A's and Bs.
"My turnaround was Renaissance," she said. "I love this place."
She was working in retail, but when her sister told her about an opening at the Ventura law firm where she worked, Franco jumped at the chance. She now does filing, typing and hopes to do research over the summer.
"She's very enthusiastic about learning new things," said Tawnee Barajas, the firm's marketing director.
Before she started at the law firm, Franco was thinking about going into photography or cosmetology but didn't really have a clear direction, she said.
"I was all over the place," she said.
The work at the firm has helped her focus. She wants to go to Ventura College next year and has her sights set on Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego.
Franco sees the purity of law, of lawyers helping get justice done.
"I like how they are kind of a hero for some people," she said.
She's thinking about going into construction defection law, which the lawyers at her firm practice, although she's keeping her options open.
But all this doesn't mean that Franco doesn't have the trappings of adolescence. When not working or going to school, she loves to write poetry about — what else? — boys.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
motivation : 99 Octane Motivation Fuel
Keep them Euphoric: 5 more ways to turbocharge employees.
These are five additional ways that you can successfully create an encouraging work environment while increasing employee.
1.Distinguish your employees. It is essential that you empathize with your employees. Know about their family; know about what they do after hours, what interests them. This is not meant to be prying into an employee's personal life, but knowing an employee can help you to resolve what motivates that employee. Different people are motivated by dissimilar things. What does the employee want? What do they want from this job, from their life, and for their future? Reaching goals can be difficult. Helping someone to reach a goal at work is impossible if you do not know what that goal is.
2.Discover more. It is your responsibility to create enthusiasm in the workplace. Therefore it is up to you to continue to study innovative ways to spur employees to action. You might opt to take classes that offered as short courses at HR firms or online universities. This will give you a fabulous opportunity to continue to learn new ways to stimulate your employees
3.Splurge special time with your employees. Take a few minutes out of your day to just talk with your employees. Give them an opportunity to voice their opinions and concerns or simply ask how their week went. This will demonstrate how much you care about his or her happiness within the company. You can also schedule performance reviews either once a month, once a year or however often is comfortable for you. This will allow you time to sit down and spend a little more time with the employee and give you a chance to discuss the highs and lows of the period in which the review is accomplished. Positive conversations, even on a casual level are a great way to increase employee motivation. Schedule one-on-ones and leave titles at the door.
4.Understand the employees' feelings about their career. Most employees start out in a job on the bottom with hopes of advancement. One way to increase employee drive is to discuss the likelihood of advancement or lateral movement within the company structure. It might be a different position, or a promotion, in a sister company. Your employees should know that you care about the things that they care about. Let them know that you are there to help them achieve their goals and they will give you 110%
5.Be transparent. You as a manager know what it feels like when a higher up seems to be keeping something from you. Even though there may not be a secret, the big boss still hasn't informed you on what is going on. Your employees may feel this way consistently. It is very important to keep employees informed about issues that arise in the company even if it does not directly affect them. Employees want to know about the company and they want to be involved. It is a good idea to have regular "catch-up" meetings, just to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Prepare employees if a major event is going to happen, such as a leveraged buyout or inspection by the CEO. Another way to explode inspiration among employees is to hold consultations when the company is planning on changing existing policies. Invite feed back from the employees and ask if they have any ideas about how to resolve the issue.
You as manager holds the keys to create a work environment that beneficial for company and employee growth. Sun Tzu asserts that "You are only as strong as your weakest link". Increasing motivation among employees will make each link a little stronger and forge a tougher backbone for the company.
by Joseph Plazo
These are five additional ways that you can successfully create an encouraging work environment while increasing employee.
1.Distinguish your employees. It is essential that you empathize with your employees. Know about their family; know about what they do after hours, what interests them. This is not meant to be prying into an employee's personal life, but knowing an employee can help you to resolve what motivates that employee. Different people are motivated by dissimilar things. What does the employee want? What do they want from this job, from their life, and for their future? Reaching goals can be difficult. Helping someone to reach a goal at work is impossible if you do not know what that goal is.
2.Discover more. It is your responsibility to create enthusiasm in the workplace. Therefore it is up to you to continue to study innovative ways to spur employees to action. You might opt to take classes that offered as short courses at HR firms or online universities. This will give you a fabulous opportunity to continue to learn new ways to stimulate your employees
3.Splurge special time with your employees. Take a few minutes out of your day to just talk with your employees. Give them an opportunity to voice their opinions and concerns or simply ask how their week went. This will demonstrate how much you care about his or her happiness within the company. You can also schedule performance reviews either once a month, once a year or however often is comfortable for you. This will allow you time to sit down and spend a little more time with the employee and give you a chance to discuss the highs and lows of the period in which the review is accomplished. Positive conversations, even on a casual level are a great way to increase employee motivation. Schedule one-on-ones and leave titles at the door.
4.Understand the employees' feelings about their career. Most employees start out in a job on the bottom with hopes of advancement. One way to increase employee drive is to discuss the likelihood of advancement or lateral movement within the company structure. It might be a different position, or a promotion, in a sister company. Your employees should know that you care about the things that they care about. Let them know that you are there to help them achieve their goals and they will give you 110%
5.Be transparent. You as a manager know what it feels like when a higher up seems to be keeping something from you. Even though there may not be a secret, the big boss still hasn't informed you on what is going on. Your employees may feel this way consistently. It is very important to keep employees informed about issues that arise in the company even if it does not directly affect them. Employees want to know about the company and they want to be involved. It is a good idea to have regular "catch-up" meetings, just to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Prepare employees if a major event is going to happen, such as a leveraged buyout or inspection by the CEO. Another way to explode inspiration among employees is to hold consultations when the company is planning on changing existing policies. Invite feed back from the employees and ask if they have any ideas about how to resolve the issue.
You as manager holds the keys to create a work environment that beneficial for company and employee growth. Sun Tzu asserts that "You are only as strong as your weakest link". Increasing motivation among employees will make each link a little stronger and forge a tougher backbone for the company.
by Joseph Plazo
Motivation: What If You Didn't Need It?
Do you beat yourself up emotionally for what seems to be lack of motivation? Are you trying to figure out what's wrong with you and fix it, so that you can get on with the business of living your life the way you want to?
There is a great quote by Jim Rohn that says, "If someone is going down the wrong road, he doesn't need motivation to speed him up. What he needs is education to turn him around". You may be asking yourself what exactly does that mean? I can only tell you what I think it means. If you are on a path that you don't have a natural enthusiasm for, maybe you should stop and really look at whether it is something you should be pursuing. It is better to turn around and start over than to continue down a path that will never lead you to where you want to be. I believe that if you know what you want to create in life, and are lit up about it, you don't need motivation. Why? Because you are pulled into action by something bigger than you are. You clearly see the actions to take and take them without some emotional struggle and battle with yourself to try and get yourself to do something.
If you are clear about your personal mission in life and have the vision for your life that is fulfilling on your mission, you don't need external motivation to get you into action. Clarity of purpose provides the space for the next appropriate action to appear, and clarity of vision provides the desire to take that action. Wouldn't it be amazing to not need external motivation or internal battle to get yourself into action? Your life mission and vision could be the fuel for your life and fulfillment of your dreams.
So, I dare suggest that if you are looking for motivation, make the effort first to get clear about what your life purpose is. Know what your personal mission in life is and create the vision for your life from your mission. When you have done that, you will have an authentic expression of yourself and all the motivation you need to take the actions to fulfill on creating a life worth living.
Pamela L Catey is a Best Selling Co-Author, Coach, Musician, and Inspirational Leader. With a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology and a license in massage therapy, Pamela definitely understands healing from the inside out and on all different levels. If you are interested in learning more regarding motivation and other personal growth and development topics sign up for her free ezine at http://www.LightenUpandLive.com
by Pamela Catey
There is a great quote by Jim Rohn that says, "If someone is going down the wrong road, he doesn't need motivation to speed him up. What he needs is education to turn him around". You may be asking yourself what exactly does that mean? I can only tell you what I think it means. If you are on a path that you don't have a natural enthusiasm for, maybe you should stop and really look at whether it is something you should be pursuing. It is better to turn around and start over than to continue down a path that will never lead you to where you want to be. I believe that if you know what you want to create in life, and are lit up about it, you don't need motivation. Why? Because you are pulled into action by something bigger than you are. You clearly see the actions to take and take them without some emotional struggle and battle with yourself to try and get yourself to do something.
If you are clear about your personal mission in life and have the vision for your life that is fulfilling on your mission, you don't need external motivation to get you into action. Clarity of purpose provides the space for the next appropriate action to appear, and clarity of vision provides the desire to take that action. Wouldn't it be amazing to not need external motivation or internal battle to get yourself into action? Your life mission and vision could be the fuel for your life and fulfillment of your dreams.
So, I dare suggest that if you are looking for motivation, make the effort first to get clear about what your life purpose is. Know what your personal mission in life is and create the vision for your life from your mission. When you have done that, you will have an authentic expression of yourself and all the motivation you need to take the actions to fulfill on creating a life worth living.
Pamela L Catey is a Best Selling Co-Author, Coach, Musician, and Inspirational Leader. With a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology and a license in massage therapy, Pamela definitely understands healing from the inside out and on all different levels. If you are interested in learning more regarding motivation and other personal growth and development topics sign up for her free ezine at http://www.LightenUpandLive.com
by Pamela Catey
Friday, June 09, 2006
motivation: 12 Ways To Unleash The Courage Within
What you are about to learn are very powerful ways to help you get from where you are to where you want to go. When you consistently apply the principles below, you will notice a dramatic and positiv...
by Gabriel Daniels
What you are about to learn are very powerful ways to help you get from where you are to where you want to go. When you consistently apply the principles below, you will notice a dramatic and positive change in your life.
Before we move on, though, I'd like to explain why I use the word "unleash."
I am convinced that courage is already within us all and only needs to be "unleashed." There's a part of us that knows this—whether or not we readily admit it. We only need to accept this fact.
For many years, we have been taught by society, and sadly, even by our well-meaning relatives or friends, why we should not do something, or why we should not pursue a particular goal. They try to discourage us in a number of ways. Sometimes, it may not be that they don't believe in us or our ideas, but that they feel that if they were to pursue the idea/goal themselves, they wouldn't have the courage to do it—they would be too afraid.
In other words, they pass on their fears to us unconsciously (and unintentionally). Unfortunately, we end up making fewer attempts as a result. And the less we attempt to do something because of fear (the fears others programmed into us) the less our minds believe that courage is already within us. And the less our minds believe that courage is already within us, the more it becomes true (a reality) for us.
In my first article, Run Freely (A Lesson About Courage), I shared with you an important lesson I learned, through observation, many years ago—and that is: Courage has always been inside of us from the time we were children. (And since we were all children at one time, courage is inside "all" of us.)
Courage is not something that comes from outside of us (although external factors or influences can help in drawing that courage out, or can help in getting us to be more in touch with that courage—and that's what I would like to share with you in the principles below), because absolute courage (or fearlessness) is the very nature of our "spirit" (at least here in the physical world—I say "physical" because in the physical world, nothing can harm a spirit...and another reason I stress "physical" is because others may say, "The devil is a spirit. Why, then, does the devil fear God?").
I love the quote I read in one of Wayne Dyer's books years ago. (Wayne Dyer, by the way, is a highly recognized best-selling author and motivational speaker.) The quote was actually by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin...and it goes like this:
We are not human beings
having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings
having a human experience.
I figured, that's probably why kids (especially those at an early age) are so courageous (and less self-conscious). They are more in touch with that "spirit" part of themselves.
In fact, I believe that through the years, as people grow up towards adulthood, they have gotten less and less in touch with that "spirit" part of themselves due to the many self-created (or imaginary) fears—or due to fears that have been passed on to them by others (or society). These fears started to gradually cover up their fearless nature—their very essence or core—just like mold gradually covers up a piece of fresh bread left out in the open.
Keeping the above in mind, here, then, are 12 ways (I'll cover more in future articles) to unleash the courage within:
1. Reinforce in your being the conviction that you are a "fearless" spirit in a physical body. It's your true nature. It's your very essence. Accept this fact and your life will change in positive ways.
Detach yourself from the fear of the body, and the mind,
clinging instead to the fearlessness of the spirit.
~ Chin-Ning Chu ~
It is in your power to discover that who you really are has nothing to fear, but that you make yourself fearful each time you look outside of yourself for some power to make you feel fearless.
~ Vernon Howard ~
2. Simply attempt. JUST DO IT. Avoid overanalyzing (which usually results in procrastination). Once you've decided to do something, just do it (avoid delaying unnecessarily).
Over time, this reinforces the feeling of courage in your nervous system. You'll be more and more in touch with the courageous part of yourself. And as a result, taking action (without hesitating) will feel more natural to you.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,
it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.
~ Seneca ~
Do it like there's no one watching,
do it like you don't need the money,
do it like you just can't lose,
JUST DO IT.
~ Nike Ad ~
In other words, do your best not to give fear (or excuses) a chance to creep in. Why? Because when that happens, the following is what normally results (as Seneca's quote explains):
A man who suffers before it is necessary
suffers more than is necessary.
Also, as Publilius Syrus's quote explains:
Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back.
3. Give yourself permission to be courageous (avoid allowing yourself to be cowardly). And avoid giving others (or anything) permission to make you feel fearful. The key word here is "permission."
Understanding this principle and applying it in your daily life will empower you in ways you may not have imagined before. It puts you in a powerful position because it gives you control (in other words, you won't be just a mindless punching bag to others). You are able to "consciously" decide whether or not someone will influence you in a negative way. As a result, you'll be more at ease in dealing with others, no matter who they are.
You see, the reason some people are bullied is because "they permit it." They give permission to the bully to bully them. But the moment they no longer give permission to the bully to mistreat them, the bully loses his/her power.
(There's an excellent section on this concept of "permission" in Gerry Spence's book, How To Argue And Win Every Time.)
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~
Starting now, never again permit hard or disapproving
facial expressions to intimidate you.
~ Vernon Howard ~
4. Reinforce the belief that the only power others have is the power you give them. Their power comes from you. In fact, it is your gift to them. Their power is merely "your perception" of their power (in other words, the source of their power is in your mind). And you have a choice at any moment how much power you will give them.
This very powerful principle can be applied to fears/anxieties you may have when dealing with others. As you regularly apply this principle, you'll be more at ease when dealing with anyone, even authority figures or influential people. Also, with this knowledge, it will be in your power to give "less" or "no" power to those who like to abuse it (ex. bullies or difficult people in general).
This empowers you, and reinforces your courage at the same time, because you are in a position to make a "conscious" decision (just like principle #3 above). People won't be able to abuse power because their power comes from you in the first place. At any moment, you can easily take back any power you've already given them..."just by deciding."
(Again, there's an excellent section/chapter on this principle in Gerry Spence's book, How To Argue And Win Every Time.)
No human being has any authority over you. Your life belongs
to you and to you alone. No scowling face or irritated manner,
no challenging posture or threatening tone has any power to make
you feel nervous or anxious, frightened or angry. This is a fact;
and anyone who is tired of letting someone else tell them how to
feel can use this self-liberating principle to win true and lasting independence. Your true nature answers to no man.
~ Vernon Howard ~
No one can make you happy or sad or excited or angry
unless you give them that power over your life.
Decide right now to only give your power to those
things, circumstances, and people that support you
in getting what you want.
~ Marshall Sylver ~
Don't let the negativity given to you by the world disempower you. Instead give to yourself that which empowers you.
~ Les Brown ~
5. Reinforce the belief that the only power "anything" has is the power you give it. The power that events and experiences have over you will depend on the meaning you give them. (Two people can go through similar experiences but will respond in completely different ways, depending on what meaning they give those experiences.)
Again, just like principles 3 and 4 above, applying this principle will empower you because you will have the ability to make a "conscious" decision (it gives you the power of "choice"—you get to choose how you will perceive or interpret any event, experience, etc.).
Nothing has any power over me other than that
which I give it through my conscious thoughts.
~ Anthony Robbins ~
If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself but
to your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment.
~ Marcus Aurelius ~
Nothing has any power except the power that you give it.
~ Marshall Sylver ~
6. Apply the "calmness linked to fear" technique (a powerful technique that can help you remain calm in situations that would normally trigger fear/anxiety).
Imagine one of your biggest fears, whatever it is (a situation, a thing, a specific person, a type of person, etc.). Then imagine or visualize (in "associated" mode—meaning, you are seeing things in your surroundings from inside your own body...and not watching yourself as an actor on a movie screen) yourself being calm—being relaxed.
For example, if one of your biggest fears is having confrontations with certain types of people (ex. bullies or difficult people), imagine the bully in front of you (you can do this with your eyes open or closed—whatever is more comfortable for you), yelling at you—at the top of his/her voice, insulting you, putting you down, "commanding" you (like a dictator) to do things, etc. (imagine the worst case scenario). And while the bully is doing these things to you, "consciously" relax your body.
Be aware of any tension in your body, then think "relax." Be aware of your breathing to make sure it's not shallow or too fast. Breathe naturally...in a relaxed manner. Feel your body becoming more and more relaxed as you imagine the bully doing his/her all to shake your foundation.
You could even smile...and I mean "actually smile"...or smile inside...while you're looking straight at him/her (as if you were saying to him/her, "Who are you trying to fool?"). Or even laugh inside...while you're looking at him/her. Whatever it takes for you to reach an empowering state—a "calm" or "relaxed" state.
The goal of this exercise is to link/associate the feeling of "calmness" or "being relaxed" with that particular fear (in this case, the bully) you're imagining.
If you do this exercise effectively (by the way, you can do it as many times as needed—although I've found that one or two sessions usually does the trick), when you are put in a situation where you have to face that particular fear (ex. the bully), you will feel calm or relaxed. Or, at the very least, the fear (or anxiety) you normally would have felt will have decreased dramatically to the point where it no longer bothers or paralyzes you.
7. Constantly work on increasing your self-awareness—your self-knowledge. As some would say: Know thyself.
The more you know about yourself (your strengths, weaknesses, fears, beliefs, goals, motives, etc.), the calmer, more confident, and more courageous you'll be.
When two people meet, the prize always goes to the
one with the most self-insight. He will be calmer,
more confident, more at ease with the other.
~ Vernon Howard ~
He who knows much about others may be learned,
but he who understands himself is more intelligent.
He who controls others may be powerful,
but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
~ Lao-Tzu ~
8. Make a list of the following, and review regularly, or once in a while (depending on the need), to serve as empowering reminders:
Your past successes/victories
Risks you've taken in the past
Your past courageous acts
By reminding yourself of past victories, courageous acts, etc., it helps empower you in the present moment. Basically, what you're saying to yourself, as you face the present challenge, is, "I've succeeded many times before, therefore I can do it again." Or, "I've been victorious many times in the past, therefore I can be victorious again."
9. Surround yourself with others who help uplift your spirit. Avoid associating with those who like to bring you down or belittle your ideas (either because they don't believe in you or your ideas—or because they know they would be fearful in the same situation...and they want you to feel the same way so they won't be alone in feeling that way). In other words, choose your environment (which includes the people who surround you on a regular basis) wisely.
Remember: Courage is contagious. And so is cowardice.
We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and
people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover
ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.
~ Barbara De Angelis ~
To succeed in life, you have to forget about most people.
If you want to rise to the top, you have to disregard the
opinions, reactions, and warnings of others.
~ Ken Roberts ~
10. Get used to dealing with the unexpected (or uncertainty). In other words, don't wait until you have all the answers, or until you know it all, before taking any action. Don't wait until all conditions are perfect before taking the necessary steps you know you should take.
By mastering this skill, you'll be able to go out there in the world with courage and confidence, taking one action after another, no matter what the conditions may be. You'll be so used to dealing with the unexpected (having the ability to handle anything that comes your way) that even during times when you are not quite 100% prepared, you'll feel confident in taking action.
The number one characteristic of students who later become
heads of companies is the ability to withstand uncertainty.
~ David A. Thomas, Dean, Cornell Business School ~
It is the individual's ability to deal with the unexpected that characterizes the difference between success and failure.
~ Ross Perot ~
The following quotes explain why it's usually not a good idea to wait until "all conditions are perfect" before taking action:
If you wait until the wind and the weather are just right,
you will never plant anything and never harvest anything.
~ Ecclesiastes 11:4 (Good News Bible) ~
Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections
must be first overcome.
~ Samuel Johnson ~
11. Simply decide that fear will not get in your way no matter what. If you happen to feel fear, for whatever reason, do what you have to do anyway. Act in spite of fear. You don't have to wait until the fear is gone. Like Susan Jeffers's book suggests: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.
In spite of fear, do what you have to do.
~ Chin-Ning Chu ~
Courage is acting in spite of fear.
~ Howard W. Hunter ~
12. Apply the "I have nothing to prove" or "I don't have to prove anything" attitude. Avoid feeling the need to prove yourself to anyone. Just be your natural self. Express your true self.
In fact, always make it your goal to "express," not "impress." When you're focused on "expressing," you'll be more at ease.
Your true nature never needs to anxiously prove itself
to others, but lives in calm command, like a popular king.
~ Vernon Howard ~
The real acid test of courage is to be just your honest self
when everybody is trying to be like somebody else.
~ Andrew Jensen ~
The time men spend in trying to impress others, they could
spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed.
~ Frank Romer ~
Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire,
if you will forget yourself—forget about the impression
you are trying to make.
~ Dale Carnegie ~
This above all: to thine own self be true.
~ William Shakespeare ~
[In addition to the 12 principles above, read my article, How To Be Confident And Relaxed When Speaking Before A Group Of People (Powerful Tips To Help You Become A Highly Effective Speaker/Presenter), if you haven't done so already. You'll find that many of the principles in that article can be applied to life in general.]
I would like to end this article with a beautiful story I read many years ago.
Michaelangelo, the world famous painter, sculptor, and architect was once asked how he could carve such magnificent statues. And he answered, "The perfect statue is already there within the block of marble. I simply chip away the excess."
And so it is with courage. It's already there within you. You only need to create or devise ways (like the ones I shared with you above) to chip away—or get rid of—any unnecessary fears, worries, apprehensions, etc., so that the courage within you will be unleashed more fully.
About The Author
Gabriel Daniels publishes Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You Realize Your Dreams. For more tips, strategies, stories, quotes, and more...to empower and inspire you to take action...so you can get what you want out of life, visit his website at: http://confidencetips.blogspot.com
You are free to reprint this article in your ezine or newsletter, or on your website, as long as you include this resource box—and as long as the article's contents are not changed in any way. (For more details, please check the website's License Information section.)
by Gabriel Daniels
What you are about to learn are very powerful ways to help you get from where you are to where you want to go. When you consistently apply the principles below, you will notice a dramatic and positive change in your life.
Before we move on, though, I'd like to explain why I use the word "unleash."
I am convinced that courage is already within us all and only needs to be "unleashed." There's a part of us that knows this—whether or not we readily admit it. We only need to accept this fact.
For many years, we have been taught by society, and sadly, even by our well-meaning relatives or friends, why we should not do something, or why we should not pursue a particular goal. They try to discourage us in a number of ways. Sometimes, it may not be that they don't believe in us or our ideas, but that they feel that if they were to pursue the idea/goal themselves, they wouldn't have the courage to do it—they would be too afraid.
In other words, they pass on their fears to us unconsciously (and unintentionally). Unfortunately, we end up making fewer attempts as a result. And the less we attempt to do something because of fear (the fears others programmed into us) the less our minds believe that courage is already within us. And the less our minds believe that courage is already within us, the more it becomes true (a reality) for us.
In my first article, Run Freely (A Lesson About Courage), I shared with you an important lesson I learned, through observation, many years ago—and that is: Courage has always been inside of us from the time we were children. (And since we were all children at one time, courage is inside "all" of us.)
Courage is not something that comes from outside of us (although external factors or influences can help in drawing that courage out, or can help in getting us to be more in touch with that courage—and that's what I would like to share with you in the principles below), because absolute courage (or fearlessness) is the very nature of our "spirit" (at least here in the physical world—I say "physical" because in the physical world, nothing can harm a spirit...and another reason I stress "physical" is because others may say, "The devil is a spirit. Why, then, does the devil fear God?").
I love the quote I read in one of Wayne Dyer's books years ago. (Wayne Dyer, by the way, is a highly recognized best-selling author and motivational speaker.) The quote was actually by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin...and it goes like this:
We are not human beings
having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings
having a human experience.
I figured, that's probably why kids (especially those at an early age) are so courageous (and less self-conscious). They are more in touch with that "spirit" part of themselves.
In fact, I believe that through the years, as people grow up towards adulthood, they have gotten less and less in touch with that "spirit" part of themselves due to the many self-created (or imaginary) fears—or due to fears that have been passed on to them by others (or society). These fears started to gradually cover up their fearless nature—their very essence or core—just like mold gradually covers up a piece of fresh bread left out in the open.
Keeping the above in mind, here, then, are 12 ways (I'll cover more in future articles) to unleash the courage within:
1. Reinforce in your being the conviction that you are a "fearless" spirit in a physical body. It's your true nature. It's your very essence. Accept this fact and your life will change in positive ways.
Detach yourself from the fear of the body, and the mind,
clinging instead to the fearlessness of the spirit.
~ Chin-Ning Chu ~
It is in your power to discover that who you really are has nothing to fear, but that you make yourself fearful each time you look outside of yourself for some power to make you feel fearless.
~ Vernon Howard ~
2. Simply attempt. JUST DO IT. Avoid overanalyzing (which usually results in procrastination). Once you've decided to do something, just do it (avoid delaying unnecessarily).
Over time, this reinforces the feeling of courage in your nervous system. You'll be more and more in touch with the courageous part of yourself. And as a result, taking action (without hesitating) will feel more natural to you.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,
it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.
~ Seneca ~
Do it like there's no one watching,
do it like you don't need the money,
do it like you just can't lose,
JUST DO IT.
~ Nike Ad ~
In other words, do your best not to give fear (or excuses) a chance to creep in. Why? Because when that happens, the following is what normally results (as Seneca's quote explains):
A man who suffers before it is necessary
suffers more than is necessary.
Also, as Publilius Syrus's quote explains:
Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back.
3. Give yourself permission to be courageous (avoid allowing yourself to be cowardly). And avoid giving others (or anything) permission to make you feel fearful. The key word here is "permission."
Understanding this principle and applying it in your daily life will empower you in ways you may not have imagined before. It puts you in a powerful position because it gives you control (in other words, you won't be just a mindless punching bag to others). You are able to "consciously" decide whether or not someone will influence you in a negative way. As a result, you'll be more at ease in dealing with others, no matter who they are.
You see, the reason some people are bullied is because "they permit it." They give permission to the bully to bully them. But the moment they no longer give permission to the bully to mistreat them, the bully loses his/her power.
(There's an excellent section on this concept of "permission" in Gerry Spence's book, How To Argue And Win Every Time.)
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~
Starting now, never again permit hard or disapproving
facial expressions to intimidate you.
~ Vernon Howard ~
4. Reinforce the belief that the only power others have is the power you give them. Their power comes from you. In fact, it is your gift to them. Their power is merely "your perception" of their power (in other words, the source of their power is in your mind). And you have a choice at any moment how much power you will give them.
This very powerful principle can be applied to fears/anxieties you may have when dealing with others. As you regularly apply this principle, you'll be more at ease when dealing with anyone, even authority figures or influential people. Also, with this knowledge, it will be in your power to give "less" or "no" power to those who like to abuse it (ex. bullies or difficult people in general).
This empowers you, and reinforces your courage at the same time, because you are in a position to make a "conscious" decision (just like principle #3 above). People won't be able to abuse power because their power comes from you in the first place. At any moment, you can easily take back any power you've already given them..."just by deciding."
(Again, there's an excellent section/chapter on this principle in Gerry Spence's book, How To Argue And Win Every Time.)
No human being has any authority over you. Your life belongs
to you and to you alone. No scowling face or irritated manner,
no challenging posture or threatening tone has any power to make
you feel nervous or anxious, frightened or angry. This is a fact;
and anyone who is tired of letting someone else tell them how to
feel can use this self-liberating principle to win true and lasting independence. Your true nature answers to no man.
~ Vernon Howard ~
No one can make you happy or sad or excited or angry
unless you give them that power over your life.
Decide right now to only give your power to those
things, circumstances, and people that support you
in getting what you want.
~ Marshall Sylver ~
Don't let the negativity given to you by the world disempower you. Instead give to yourself that which empowers you.
~ Les Brown ~
5. Reinforce the belief that the only power "anything" has is the power you give it. The power that events and experiences have over you will depend on the meaning you give them. (Two people can go through similar experiences but will respond in completely different ways, depending on what meaning they give those experiences.)
Again, just like principles 3 and 4 above, applying this principle will empower you because you will have the ability to make a "conscious" decision (it gives you the power of "choice"—you get to choose how you will perceive or interpret any event, experience, etc.).
Nothing has any power over me other than that
which I give it through my conscious thoughts.
~ Anthony Robbins ~
If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself but
to your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment.
~ Marcus Aurelius ~
Nothing has any power except the power that you give it.
~ Marshall Sylver ~
6. Apply the "calmness linked to fear" technique (a powerful technique that can help you remain calm in situations that would normally trigger fear/anxiety).
Imagine one of your biggest fears, whatever it is (a situation, a thing, a specific person, a type of person, etc.). Then imagine or visualize (in "associated" mode—meaning, you are seeing things in your surroundings from inside your own body...and not watching yourself as an actor on a movie screen) yourself being calm—being relaxed.
For example, if one of your biggest fears is having confrontations with certain types of people (ex. bullies or difficult people), imagine the bully in front of you (you can do this with your eyes open or closed—whatever is more comfortable for you), yelling at you—at the top of his/her voice, insulting you, putting you down, "commanding" you (like a dictator) to do things, etc. (imagine the worst case scenario). And while the bully is doing these things to you, "consciously" relax your body.
Be aware of any tension in your body, then think "relax." Be aware of your breathing to make sure it's not shallow or too fast. Breathe naturally...in a relaxed manner. Feel your body becoming more and more relaxed as you imagine the bully doing his/her all to shake your foundation.
You could even smile...and I mean "actually smile"...or smile inside...while you're looking straight at him/her (as if you were saying to him/her, "Who are you trying to fool?"). Or even laugh inside...while you're looking at him/her. Whatever it takes for you to reach an empowering state—a "calm" or "relaxed" state.
The goal of this exercise is to link/associate the feeling of "calmness" or "being relaxed" with that particular fear (in this case, the bully) you're imagining.
If you do this exercise effectively (by the way, you can do it as many times as needed—although I've found that one or two sessions usually does the trick), when you are put in a situation where you have to face that particular fear (ex. the bully), you will feel calm or relaxed. Or, at the very least, the fear (or anxiety) you normally would have felt will have decreased dramatically to the point where it no longer bothers or paralyzes you.
7. Constantly work on increasing your self-awareness—your self-knowledge. As some would say: Know thyself.
The more you know about yourself (your strengths, weaknesses, fears, beliefs, goals, motives, etc.), the calmer, more confident, and more courageous you'll be.
When two people meet, the prize always goes to the
one with the most self-insight. He will be calmer,
more confident, more at ease with the other.
~ Vernon Howard ~
He who knows much about others may be learned,
but he who understands himself is more intelligent.
He who controls others may be powerful,
but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
~ Lao-Tzu ~
8. Make a list of the following, and review regularly, or once in a while (depending on the need), to serve as empowering reminders:
Your past successes/victories
Risks you've taken in the past
Your past courageous acts
By reminding yourself of past victories, courageous acts, etc., it helps empower you in the present moment. Basically, what you're saying to yourself, as you face the present challenge, is, "I've succeeded many times before, therefore I can do it again." Or, "I've been victorious many times in the past, therefore I can be victorious again."
9. Surround yourself with others who help uplift your spirit. Avoid associating with those who like to bring you down or belittle your ideas (either because they don't believe in you or your ideas—or because they know they would be fearful in the same situation...and they want you to feel the same way so they won't be alone in feeling that way). In other words, choose your environment (which includes the people who surround you on a regular basis) wisely.
Remember: Courage is contagious. And so is cowardice.
We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and
people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover
ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.
~ Barbara De Angelis ~
To succeed in life, you have to forget about most people.
If you want to rise to the top, you have to disregard the
opinions, reactions, and warnings of others.
~ Ken Roberts ~
10. Get used to dealing with the unexpected (or uncertainty). In other words, don't wait until you have all the answers, or until you know it all, before taking any action. Don't wait until all conditions are perfect before taking the necessary steps you know you should take.
By mastering this skill, you'll be able to go out there in the world with courage and confidence, taking one action after another, no matter what the conditions may be. You'll be so used to dealing with the unexpected (having the ability to handle anything that comes your way) that even during times when you are not quite 100% prepared, you'll feel confident in taking action.
The number one characteristic of students who later become
heads of companies is the ability to withstand uncertainty.
~ David A. Thomas, Dean, Cornell Business School ~
It is the individual's ability to deal with the unexpected that characterizes the difference between success and failure.
~ Ross Perot ~
The following quotes explain why it's usually not a good idea to wait until "all conditions are perfect" before taking action:
If you wait until the wind and the weather are just right,
you will never plant anything and never harvest anything.
~ Ecclesiastes 11:4 (Good News Bible) ~
Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections
must be first overcome.
~ Samuel Johnson ~
11. Simply decide that fear will not get in your way no matter what. If you happen to feel fear, for whatever reason, do what you have to do anyway. Act in spite of fear. You don't have to wait until the fear is gone. Like Susan Jeffers's book suggests: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.
In spite of fear, do what you have to do.
~ Chin-Ning Chu ~
Courage is acting in spite of fear.
~ Howard W. Hunter ~
12. Apply the "I have nothing to prove" or "I don't have to prove anything" attitude. Avoid feeling the need to prove yourself to anyone. Just be your natural self. Express your true self.
In fact, always make it your goal to "express," not "impress." When you're focused on "expressing," you'll be more at ease.
Your true nature never needs to anxiously prove itself
to others, but lives in calm command, like a popular king.
~ Vernon Howard ~
The real acid test of courage is to be just your honest self
when everybody is trying to be like somebody else.
~ Andrew Jensen ~
The time men spend in trying to impress others, they could
spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed.
~ Frank Romer ~
Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire,
if you will forget yourself—forget about the impression
you are trying to make.
~ Dale Carnegie ~
This above all: to thine own self be true.
~ William Shakespeare ~
[In addition to the 12 principles above, read my article, How To Be Confident And Relaxed When Speaking Before A Group Of People (Powerful Tips To Help You Become A Highly Effective Speaker/Presenter), if you haven't done so already. You'll find that many of the principles in that article can be applied to life in general.]
I would like to end this article with a beautiful story I read many years ago.
Michaelangelo, the world famous painter, sculptor, and architect was once asked how he could carve such magnificent statues. And he answered, "The perfect statue is already there within the block of marble. I simply chip away the excess."
And so it is with courage. It's already there within you. You only need to create or devise ways (like the ones I shared with you above) to chip away—or get rid of—any unnecessary fears, worries, apprehensions, etc., so that the courage within you will be unleashed more fully.
About The Author
Gabriel Daniels publishes Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You Realize Your Dreams. For more tips, strategies, stories, quotes, and more...to empower and inspire you to take action...so you can get what you want out of life, visit his website at: http://confidencetips.blogspot.com
You are free to reprint this article in your ezine or newsletter, or on your website, as long as you include this resource box—and as long as the article's contents are not changed in any way. (For more details, please check the website's License Information section.)
motivation: 14 Habits For A Happier You and I
Many people exercise, play sports, or know someone who does. Having done so almost my entire life, I have a few pearls of wisdom. To gain an advantage, focus on a full body workout. In sports your ba...
by Raju Gavurla
Many people exercise, play sports, or know someone who does. Having done so almost my entire life, I have a few pearls of wisdom. To gain an advantage, focus on a full body workout. In sports your base (waist down) are more important than your upper body except the mind and heart. It will bring more life to your conversations and rejuvenate your outlook.
I met a 74 year old man playing full court basketball. He was a teammate of Oscar Robertson (The Big O) on the Cincinnati Royals. He's a joy to watch because of his subtle technique and confidence. He has a team called "Man Up". In an effort to "One Up You", let me know how the following works for you.
If you would like to read the definitive book on basketball, I encourage you to check out The Art of Basketball by Oscar Robertson (The Big O). Be sure to interpret the words on the pages correctly and add your touch. Here's wishing you a lifetime of swishes and assists.
I'm sure for those who play other sports there is a book. Use your imagination to visually practice the techniques. Try blocking 30 minutes of time, identify the skill(s), count the number of mental repetitions, and sets. Then, try it on the field of play. I think you will like the results. Be sure to lead a balanced life.
Good sportsmanship has its privileges. I recently attended a high school basketball game and am disgusted at the behavior of a few. It must be stopped because it sends the wrong message. Additionally, realize it is about winning the game. A negative habit will only hinder your progress as you progress to the next level and beyond. Be in control.
1. Listen to your body and check with your physician before starting an exercise program
2. Do a variety of exercises
3. Play a sport
4. If a body part hurts, don't aggravate it & seek medical attention
5. During the exercise, mentally focus on the body part you're exercising
6. At least two genuine smiles while resting during an hour workout
7. Vary cardio routines including length of time, day, and speed
8. Have at least one brief conversation before or during workout
9. Compete with a sub-goal in mind (repetition required before going to the next level(s)) and reaching a goal
10. Less is more if done correctly
11. Drink eight glasses of water a day …. Start the day with one glass & drink less with meals …. Don't drink it all at once
12. Eat a variety of nourishing foods (include some fruit, one walnut, one pecan, two almonds)
13. Drink no more than 1.5 cups of your favorite sport drink after exercise
14. Don't eat within two hours of exercising for optimal stomach strength
About The Author
Raju Gavurla, President of LiiiVEN™, Inc. is a Motivational Speaker and Business Development & Growth Consultant. Client Modular Approach programs on motivation, communication, and mental health assist you in achieving your professional/personal goals. Contact him at 404.918.7366, e-mail raju.gavurla@liiiven.com or visit www.liiiven.com. Copyright 2003-2005 LiiiVEN™, All rights reserved. Duplication whole or in part must include this entire attribution.
Copyright Raju Gavurla - raju.gavurla@liiiven.com or visit mailto:raju.gavurla@liiiven.com">raju.gavurla@liiiven.com or visit Related Keywords:
1, habits, happier, raju, gavurla, self, improvement, motivation, free, articles, articles, authors, credit, reporting, free, reports
by Raju Gavurla
Many people exercise, play sports, or know someone who does. Having done so almost my entire life, I have a few pearls of wisdom. To gain an advantage, focus on a full body workout. In sports your base (waist down) are more important than your upper body except the mind and heart. It will bring more life to your conversations and rejuvenate your outlook.
I met a 74 year old man playing full court basketball. He was a teammate of Oscar Robertson (The Big O) on the Cincinnati Royals. He's a joy to watch because of his subtle technique and confidence. He has a team called "Man Up". In an effort to "One Up You", let me know how the following works for you.
If you would like to read the definitive book on basketball, I encourage you to check out The Art of Basketball by Oscar Robertson (The Big O). Be sure to interpret the words on the pages correctly and add your touch. Here's wishing you a lifetime of swishes and assists.
I'm sure for those who play other sports there is a book. Use your imagination to visually practice the techniques. Try blocking 30 minutes of time, identify the skill(s), count the number of mental repetitions, and sets. Then, try it on the field of play. I think you will like the results. Be sure to lead a balanced life.
Good sportsmanship has its privileges. I recently attended a high school basketball game and am disgusted at the behavior of a few. It must be stopped because it sends the wrong message. Additionally, realize it is about winning the game. A negative habit will only hinder your progress as you progress to the next level and beyond. Be in control.
1. Listen to your body and check with your physician before starting an exercise program
2. Do a variety of exercises
3. Play a sport
4. If a body part hurts, don't aggravate it & seek medical attention
5. During the exercise, mentally focus on the body part you're exercising
6. At least two genuine smiles while resting during an hour workout
7. Vary cardio routines including length of time, day, and speed
8. Have at least one brief conversation before or during workout
9. Compete with a sub-goal in mind (repetition required before going to the next level(s)) and reaching a goal
10. Less is more if done correctly
11. Drink eight glasses of water a day …. Start the day with one glass & drink less with meals …. Don't drink it all at once
12. Eat a variety of nourishing foods (include some fruit, one walnut, one pecan, two almonds)
13. Drink no more than 1.5 cups of your favorite sport drink after exercise
14. Don't eat within two hours of exercising for optimal stomach strength
About The Author
Raju Gavurla, President of LiiiVEN™, Inc. is a Motivational Speaker and Business Development & Growth Consultant. Client Modular Approach programs on motivation, communication, and mental health assist you in achieving your professional/personal goals. Contact him at 404.918.7366, e-mail raju.gavurla@liiiven.com or visit www.liiiven.com. Copyright 2003-2005 LiiiVEN™, All rights reserved. Duplication whole or in part must include this entire attribution.
Copyright Raju Gavurla - raju.gavurla@liiiven.com or visit mailto:raju.gavurla@liiiven.com">raju.gavurla@liiiven.com or visit Related Keywords:
1, habits, happier, raju, gavurla, self, improvement, motivation, free, articles, articles, authors, credit, reporting, free, reports
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
motivation: 'Revenge was always my motivation'
Years of being hideously bullied at school led Julian Clary to develop into an outrageous performer who took pleasure in shocking people. Now, he tells Elizabeth Grice, he is planning a dignified retreat into middle age and country life
To find Julian Clary these days, you make your way down the deep green lanes of Kent, like a caterpillar through cabbage. Eventually you come to a forgotten-looking house, half-timbered at the front, tile-hung at the back, that seems to be subsiding exhaustedly into its meadow. There is no guttering, the electrics are unsafe, but this is a place - "16th-century, or maybe 14th" - that people wait all their lives for. Noël Coward did, and stayed for 30 years. Now Clary has the same feeling about it. "This is where I'll grow old."
Julian Clary: 'I was lightweight. That was the whole point of me'
The high priest of smut and exemplar of camp comedy is waiting at his front door, cigarette in shaking hand. In Coward's old home, he feels cigarettes are the correct accessory, even though the place could spontaneously combust at the shake of a matchbox. Clary is a surprisingly tall man and some of the ceilings are so low that he brushes his highlights on them as he glides about, making tea and fussing over his companion, Valerie.
Valerie is a small, affectionate hound, but rather talentless compared with her predecessor, Fanny the Wonderdog, who became such a celebrated part of Clary's grotesque cabaret gigs when he was in the foothills of fame, performing as The Joan Collins Fan Club. Today, Valerie is the one wearing sequins. Her glittery, bright-red collar, decorated with a flower is the only piece of kitsch ornamentation to be seen. Her owner, in his loose jeans and with no make-up except for a little light concealer, looks like the under-gardener.
"However light-hearted you try to be about it," he says, in that quiet, frou-frou voice of his, "the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma. That's why I moved here. I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books."
This must be Clary's biggest reinvention since he first put on his sister's purple feathered waistcoat at the age of 14. Embedded here with his potatoes and sweet peas, he seems so utterly and uncharacteristically content that you fear for his reputation. The other day he tried to save a lamb that was having convulsions (it died). Now he's talking about keeping hens. How can he pursue a career shocking people and live the life of a Kentish smallholder? Is this the same man who remarked, after a 20-minute sexual encounter with a stranger in Edinburgh's Royal Mile, "I didn't think of myself as a tart - but I wouldn't argue with anyone who did"?
Two-thirds of the way through his autobiography, A Young Man's Passage, Clary amuses himself by listing all the male conquests he can recall, and their occupations. It runs to 24 lines of type. He kept a notepad by his computer when he was writing the book so that when another obscure lover - or "gentleman caller" - came to mind, he could jot him down.
His sexual exploits through the Eighties sound exhausting. "No, not exhausting," he says. "Relentless, I think. A lot of gay men have a lot of sex. That's what we do. But I've stopped all that - the revolving door into my bedroom. Promiscuity. That was of its day, really.
"The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire - I do, anyway - to go out and conquer everyone you see. [Cruising gay pubs] is a strangely addictive thing. In the Eighties, and beyond, the whole point was to take someone home with you. You didn't ever go home empty-handed - that would mean the evening had been pointless.
"It is a very predatory thing. You didn't question it at the time - it was just what you did, what you were meant to do. Then you'd compare notes the next day. I don't regret any of it, but I don't want to do it any more."
Clary's family is pivotal to him, and it is impossible to read his hilariously honest memoirs (anal warts and all) without feeling anxious about Mr and Mrs Clary of Swindon, a retired policeman and probation officer respectively. Not to mention his Auntie Tess, aged 94, who came to one of his shows, having first taken the precaution of removing her hearing aid. As he read the final proof, thinking of the reactions of these good people, Clary admits he felt tempted to remove the most explicit sexual stuff, but he left it in because "I didn't want to write a showbizzy, bland story".
His mother, Brenda, coolly remarked that she hadn't realised her son was quite so promiscuous, but admired his truthfulness. His father, Peter, read it and didn't say a word. Auntie Tess, ignoring his condescending advice to "just look at the pictures", started on page one and was riveted all afternoon.
There was never a moment when Clary told his Roman Catholic parents he was homosexual, nor did they bring the subject up. Perhaps it was just too obvious. Perhaps their levels of tolerance and belief in personal privacy were unusually high. They sound like amazing people. Concerned mainly about his health and happiness, the nearest they came to criticism was: "Don't be quite so obvious. It's not a problem, but you don't have to go on about it."
But the point about Julian Clary is that he did have to go on about it. It was his deliberate way of dealing with taunts, even as a prepubescent schoolboy. At his secondary school, run by Benedictine monks who beat him, he and his gay friend, Nick Reader, exaggerated their effeminacy to an outrageous degree. "The bullying was hideous and relentless," he says, "and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities. We found humour in the situation. We were very provocative, very disdainful and superior. It must have been annoying."
When he started to draw cabaret audiences for being the very thing he had been persecuted for, revenge was sweet. "It was a reversal of all I had experienced at school. I was vindicated. It was all about wanting to get revenge. Pathetic, really, but it still is the motivation."
For a time, he carried on going to church with his mother when he went home at weekends, "just to keep her company", but he found it traumatic to be stared at. "I thought they were staring at me because I was gay. But it was because I was on the telly." Though he's currently "in an interesting correspondence with a nun about forgiveness", his links with homophobic Catholicism have dissolved. "In a way, I miss it. But I've found a more personal, pagan kind of religion to satisfy the spiritual side of things." Later on, in a tiny, unfurnished attic room, I notice a large crucifix propped up in the ancient window and a single meditative chair with a shawl on it.
For someone who, as his sister Frances says, can be "lethally unkind" professionally, Clary is a sensitive man and, I imagine, a loyal friend. He says his parents gave him a great sense of right and wrong and, despite his merry-go-round of sexual activity, it seems entirely believable. In his thirties, he was shocked to fall in love suddenly. He describes Christopher as his soul mate but, for most of the time they were together, he was suffering from Aids and Clary was his carer. They lived "in the moment", never quite able to take the increasingly pessimistic assessments of Christopher's life expectancy seriously.
"The doctors did their best. They threw all these drugs at him. But they didn't really know what they were doing in those days - and I think he knew that. I am cross that he couldn't have had the medication that is available now." When Christopher died, Clary took his ashes to a beach in Portugal and experienced one of those moments, both risible and sad, that transcend bathos. "I found the very beach he took me to. I lit candles and, just as I was about to scatter the ashes at dusk, a man appeared behind me, masturbating. I packed my candles away and came back another day."
Christopher is still a part of his life. "Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over. My grandfather died more than 25 years ago, but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell."
There have been other "significant" relationships with men, he says, but he'll save them for the next instalment of his autobiography in about 10 years' time. "It's a wise thing to hold back." For the moment, he's living alone without any sense of loneliness, and fulfilling his idea of a seemly transition into middle age by writing a comedy thriller. True crime, the more gruesome the better, has been an abiding interest. "I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke."
Some in the entertainment business believe that Clary's career never really recovered after he made a lewd remark about Norman Lamont during a live television show in 1993. But he was never unemployed and, after lying low for a while - which he says was a necessary way of regaining his equilibrium - he flounced back into another round of television shows, tours and pantos. "Things needed to quieten down," he says. "At the time, my life was in crisis and I was taking lots of Valium."
His book contains some of the most perceptive reflections on fame, and how it can distort normal human sensibilities, that I have read anywhere. Now, talking about the satisfaction of having made a performing career out of being trivial ("I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me"), and of being proud of his professional longevity, he does seem faintly valedictory. "The whole business of getting famous was good fun, but it was a long time ago," he says. "I am full of gratitude for my life - and for this house."
But it would be absurd to imagine that Clary is about to give up on metropolitan life or the performing arts. The other day, he held a Women's Institute-themed 47th birthday party, with gingham-decked trestle tables, jars of produce, Victoria sponges and orange squash. It was "an interesting clash" between London types and local people.
He still has his flat in Camden, for when rural affairs, even in the company of Coward's ghost, begin to stifle him. "If I've been here a long time, I think: I must go to London and speak to someone or see a bus."
'A Young Man's Passage' by Julian Clary (Ebury) is available for £7.99 plus 99p p&p. To order, please call Telegraph Books on 0870 428 4112.
To find Julian Clary these days, you make your way down the deep green lanes of Kent, like a caterpillar through cabbage. Eventually you come to a forgotten-looking house, half-timbered at the front, tile-hung at the back, that seems to be subsiding exhaustedly into its meadow. There is no guttering, the electrics are unsafe, but this is a place - "16th-century, or maybe 14th" - that people wait all their lives for. Noël Coward did, and stayed for 30 years. Now Clary has the same feeling about it. "This is where I'll grow old."
Julian Clary: 'I was lightweight. That was the whole point of me'
The high priest of smut and exemplar of camp comedy is waiting at his front door, cigarette in shaking hand. In Coward's old home, he feels cigarettes are the correct accessory, even though the place could spontaneously combust at the shake of a matchbox. Clary is a surprisingly tall man and some of the ceilings are so low that he brushes his highlights on them as he glides about, making tea and fussing over his companion, Valerie.
Valerie is a small, affectionate hound, but rather talentless compared with her predecessor, Fanny the Wonderdog, who became such a celebrated part of Clary's grotesque cabaret gigs when he was in the foothills of fame, performing as The Joan Collins Fan Club. Today, Valerie is the one wearing sequins. Her glittery, bright-red collar, decorated with a flower is the only piece of kitsch ornamentation to be seen. Her owner, in his loose jeans and with no make-up except for a little light concealer, looks like the under-gardener.
"However light-hearted you try to be about it," he says, in that quiet, frou-frou voice of his, "the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma. That's why I moved here. I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books."
This must be Clary's biggest reinvention since he first put on his sister's purple feathered waistcoat at the age of 14. Embedded here with his potatoes and sweet peas, he seems so utterly and uncharacteristically content that you fear for his reputation. The other day he tried to save a lamb that was having convulsions (it died). Now he's talking about keeping hens. How can he pursue a career shocking people and live the life of a Kentish smallholder? Is this the same man who remarked, after a 20-minute sexual encounter with a stranger in Edinburgh's Royal Mile, "I didn't think of myself as a tart - but I wouldn't argue with anyone who did"?
Two-thirds of the way through his autobiography, A Young Man's Passage, Clary amuses himself by listing all the male conquests he can recall, and their occupations. It runs to 24 lines of type. He kept a notepad by his computer when he was writing the book so that when another obscure lover - or "gentleman caller" - came to mind, he could jot him down.
His sexual exploits through the Eighties sound exhausting. "No, not exhausting," he says. "Relentless, I think. A lot of gay men have a lot of sex. That's what we do. But I've stopped all that - the revolving door into my bedroom. Promiscuity. That was of its day, really.
"The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire - I do, anyway - to go out and conquer everyone you see. [Cruising gay pubs] is a strangely addictive thing. In the Eighties, and beyond, the whole point was to take someone home with you. You didn't ever go home empty-handed - that would mean the evening had been pointless.
"It is a very predatory thing. You didn't question it at the time - it was just what you did, what you were meant to do. Then you'd compare notes the next day. I don't regret any of it, but I don't want to do it any more."
Clary's family is pivotal to him, and it is impossible to read his hilariously honest memoirs (anal warts and all) without feeling anxious about Mr and Mrs Clary of Swindon, a retired policeman and probation officer respectively. Not to mention his Auntie Tess, aged 94, who came to one of his shows, having first taken the precaution of removing her hearing aid. As he read the final proof, thinking of the reactions of these good people, Clary admits he felt tempted to remove the most explicit sexual stuff, but he left it in because "I didn't want to write a showbizzy, bland story".
His mother, Brenda, coolly remarked that she hadn't realised her son was quite so promiscuous, but admired his truthfulness. His father, Peter, read it and didn't say a word. Auntie Tess, ignoring his condescending advice to "just look at the pictures", started on page one and was riveted all afternoon.
There was never a moment when Clary told his Roman Catholic parents he was homosexual, nor did they bring the subject up. Perhaps it was just too obvious. Perhaps their levels of tolerance and belief in personal privacy were unusually high. They sound like amazing people. Concerned mainly about his health and happiness, the nearest they came to criticism was: "Don't be quite so obvious. It's not a problem, but you don't have to go on about it."
But the point about Julian Clary is that he did have to go on about it. It was his deliberate way of dealing with taunts, even as a prepubescent schoolboy. At his secondary school, run by Benedictine monks who beat him, he and his gay friend, Nick Reader, exaggerated their effeminacy to an outrageous degree. "The bullying was hideous and relentless," he says, "and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities. We found humour in the situation. We were very provocative, very disdainful and superior. It must have been annoying."
When he started to draw cabaret audiences for being the very thing he had been persecuted for, revenge was sweet. "It was a reversal of all I had experienced at school. I was vindicated. It was all about wanting to get revenge. Pathetic, really, but it still is the motivation."
For a time, he carried on going to church with his mother when he went home at weekends, "just to keep her company", but he found it traumatic to be stared at. "I thought they were staring at me because I was gay. But it was because I was on the telly." Though he's currently "in an interesting correspondence with a nun about forgiveness", his links with homophobic Catholicism have dissolved. "In a way, I miss it. But I've found a more personal, pagan kind of religion to satisfy the spiritual side of things." Later on, in a tiny, unfurnished attic room, I notice a large crucifix propped up in the ancient window and a single meditative chair with a shawl on it.
For someone who, as his sister Frances says, can be "lethally unkind" professionally, Clary is a sensitive man and, I imagine, a loyal friend. He says his parents gave him a great sense of right and wrong and, despite his merry-go-round of sexual activity, it seems entirely believable. In his thirties, he was shocked to fall in love suddenly. He describes Christopher as his soul mate but, for most of the time they were together, he was suffering from Aids and Clary was his carer. They lived "in the moment", never quite able to take the increasingly pessimistic assessments of Christopher's life expectancy seriously.
"The doctors did their best. They threw all these drugs at him. But they didn't really know what they were doing in those days - and I think he knew that. I am cross that he couldn't have had the medication that is available now." When Christopher died, Clary took his ashes to a beach in Portugal and experienced one of those moments, both risible and sad, that transcend bathos. "I found the very beach he took me to. I lit candles and, just as I was about to scatter the ashes at dusk, a man appeared behind me, masturbating. I packed my candles away and came back another day."
Christopher is still a part of his life. "Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over. My grandfather died more than 25 years ago, but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell."
There have been other "significant" relationships with men, he says, but he'll save them for the next instalment of his autobiography in about 10 years' time. "It's a wise thing to hold back." For the moment, he's living alone without any sense of loneliness, and fulfilling his idea of a seemly transition into middle age by writing a comedy thriller. True crime, the more gruesome the better, has been an abiding interest. "I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke."
Some in the entertainment business believe that Clary's career never really recovered after he made a lewd remark about Norman Lamont during a live television show in 1993. But he was never unemployed and, after lying low for a while - which he says was a necessary way of regaining his equilibrium - he flounced back into another round of television shows, tours and pantos. "Things needed to quieten down," he says. "At the time, my life was in crisis and I was taking lots of Valium."
His book contains some of the most perceptive reflections on fame, and how it can distort normal human sensibilities, that I have read anywhere. Now, talking about the satisfaction of having made a performing career out of being trivial ("I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me"), and of being proud of his professional longevity, he does seem faintly valedictory. "The whole business of getting famous was good fun, but it was a long time ago," he says. "I am full of gratitude for my life - and for this house."
But it would be absurd to imagine that Clary is about to give up on metropolitan life or the performing arts. The other day, he held a Women's Institute-themed 47th birthday party, with gingham-decked trestle tables, jars of produce, Victoria sponges and orange squash. It was "an interesting clash" between London types and local people.
He still has his flat in Camden, for when rural affairs, even in the company of Coward's ghost, begin to stifle him. "If I've been here a long time, I think: I must go to London and speak to someone or see a bus."
'A Young Man's Passage' by Julian Clary (Ebury) is available for £7.99 plus 99p p&p. To order, please call Telegraph Books on 0870 428 4112.
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